The Legend Of Sonic
by Trialman AKA Soma Cruz
Summary: A parody of the Zelda cartoon. There will be 14 chapters when finished. The intro probably won't amuse you much, but I hope the episodes will be funny and good to read. Rated T for language and sexual refrences in the upcoming episodes.
1. Intro

The Legend Of Sonic: The TV Show

Hello readers and fellow writers alike, I've wanted to do a parody story, and I was watching Nostalgia Critic's Super Mario Bros. Super Show review, and I found the exact thing to parody, prepare for action, adventure and parody of the show with the princess that should excuse me!

**BEGIN INTRO!**

In the chamber of the Chaos Emerald of Wisdom, there stood the amazing hero, Sonic, he was listening to the message of the Emerald as the theme song of the show played.

Now for no reason, we switch to Castle Greyskull or wherever it is that Eggman plots his schemes, he was learning a message from the Chaos Emerald of Power!

We switch to the middle of the land of Morule where Sonic and Princess Vanilla were running from bad guys.

"Why am I the princess?" questioned Vanilla.

Sonic answered, "Because you wouldn't have been expected. They thought it would be Amy, Blaze, that idiot Sally, or Fem!Tails."

Vanilla tried to ask a question, but was stopped since they were on the ramparts. Why? Because they're supposed to jump off the ramparts according to the script, Sonic did so, but Vanilla didn't so he jumped up to see her fighting bad guys, so he pulled her down and they landed in the water.

"Nice job, hero!" commented Vanilla in a sarcastic tone.

Sonic, responded in his sarcastic tone, "What-chu talking 'bout Vanilla?" as the intro faded out.

**END INTRO!**

Well, that was only the beginning, I doubt people will be amused by this. But prepare for 13 episodes of parody which should be a lot funnier.

Sonic will not have a full-on catchphrase for the show, he'll instead say one of 4 statements, the classic "EXCUUUUSE me, princess!" or he might say "What-chu talkin' 'bout Vanilla?" like in the intro, or "To the moooooooooooooooooooon, your highness." or "DYE-NO-MITE PRINCESS HOTTIE PANTS!". The other 3 phrases come from Nostalgia Critic's replacements for Link's catchphrases in the original show.

I don't own Sonic The Hedgehog, he and Vanilla and Eggman are all products of SEGA.

Random Useless Question: Did anyone actually think I would use Vanilla as the princess?


	2. Episode 1

**Episode 1: The Search For The Emerald Of Courage**

Welcome back, today we have the first episode of The Legend Of Sonic! In this episode, Sonic and Vanilla notice there are only 2 Chaos Emeralds, but they represent the Triforce, so there has to another. This parodies the Nostalgia Critic's point about how the show has only 2 of the 3 triforces.

**BEGIN EPISODE 1!**

Sonic entered the Chaos Emerald's chamber, it was late at night, so he was breaking and entering.

"HEY!" began Sonic, talking to the writer, "Does that term even exist yet?"

"Well, I don't know." answered the unseen writer.

(In Vanilla's bedroom)

Vanilla was woke up by Sonic's voice. She reached for her lamp, but couldn't use it.

"Ah, darn it!" an annoyed Vanilla said. She then realized she forgot Lamp Oil.

At this point, Morshu burst in with his wares. "Lamp Oil, Rope, Bombs! You want it?"

"Is the princess in this series the last person you expected?" Vanilla told Morshu.

Morshu understood that she meant yes. "It yours my friend. As long as you have enough Rubies!"

"Just give me the Lamp Oil." Vanilla told him in a demanding tone.

"Sorry, Vanilla, I can't give credit. Come back when you're a little MMMMMMMMMMMMMM Richard!"

"Who's Richard?" asked Vanilla.

"I meant richer, little MMMMMMMMMMM fool!"

Vanilla was now annoyed! "I'M A DAMN PRINCESS! NOT A FOOL! SO I CAN GET THIS FOR FREE!"

"Well, MMM excuse me princess." replied Morshu, but to show he was still annoyed, he just threw the boxes at her. "Take that little MMMMMMMMMMM bitch!" he said mockingly.

But he wasn't prepared for what happened, Vanilla slapped them back at him. Morshu was knocked out. Vanilla threw out of the Castle. But not before taking all the Lamp Oil and Rubies.

Vanilla used her Lamp Oil and followed the sound of Sonic's voice. She was shocked to find him talking to the Chaos Emerald.

"Oh yeah, time for punishment." proclaimed Vanilla snapping her fingers.

"What?" was Sonic's confused reaction as characters from the main Sonic series appeared.

Next thing he knew, Vanilla was pointing at him while singing, "Look at him that tan with tinted skin, look at the wailer(?) shape he's in, look at that slightly stubbly chin! Oh please he's gay, totally gay!"

"I'm not about to celebrate!" the Emerald began, "Every trait could indicate a totally straight expatriate(?), this guy is not gay, I say not gay!"

Everyone except the Emerald and Sonic began, "That is the elephant in the room(?). While it is elegant to assume(?), that a man who wears perfume is automaticly-maticly gay!"

Knuckles continued, "But look at his soft and crispy locks."

"Look at his silk translucent socks." Continued Vanilla.

The Emerald began to sing again, "There's the eternal paradox. But what we're seeing."

"What are we seeing?" asked Vanilla.

"IS HE GAYYYYYYYYYY" began the Emerald.

"Of course he's gay!" Vanilla said.

But the Emerald had a shocking new theory, "Or European?"

After a shocking silence, everyone except Sonic and The Emerald started, "Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee, is he gay or European?"

Shadow had one to say, "Hey don't look at me."

"You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports, they claim to kill your sports." Rouge told them.

The usual chorus started up, "In shiny shirts and tiny shorts! Gay or foreign fellow, the answer could take weeks. They will say things like 'Your bellow'(?) while they kiss you on both cheeks."

Vanilla was still not convinced, as indicted by her saying of, "Oh please!"

The chorus continued, "Gay or European? So many shades of grey!"

"Depending on the time of day, the French go either way." proclaimed Shadow.

The chorus continued with the Emerald in as well, "Is he gay or European? or..."

"There, Right, There!" interrupted Mama Robotnik, "Look at that condescend(?) smirk, see it on every guy at work, that is a metro-hetro quirk(?) so is he gay? I say NO WAY!"

The chorus continued, "That is the elephant in the room(?), while it is elegant to presume, that a hottie in that costume(?)..."

Vanilla sang "is automaticly, radically..."

"ironically, chronology..." continued the Emerald.

This was followed by Rouge singing, "certainly, wertainly(?)..."

"genetically, mentally..." continued Shadow.

This was followed by everyone except Sonic shouting "GAY! OFFICCALY GAY! OFFICCALY GAY GAY GAY GAY!" followed by a "DAMNIT!" as they saw Sonic glancing at Tikal's breasts. They continued, "Gay or European?"

The Emerald commented, "So stylish and relaxed."

Everyone continued, "Is he gay or European?"

"I think his chest is waxed." commented the Emerald.

Rouge brought up her point from earlier, "But they bring their boys up different, there is culturally diverse. It's not a fashion curse..."

Followed by the chorus finishing, "If he wears a kilt or wears a purse. Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code."

"Yet his accent is amniotic(?)" Sonia pointed out, "His shoes are pointy toed."

Followed by the chorus, "Huh? Gay or European? So many shades of grey."

Tikal commented, "But if he turns out to be straight, I'll be as free as age-old Saturday."

Chorus time, "GAY OR EUROPEAN? GAY OR EUROPEAN? GAY OR..."

Manic interrupted, "Wait a minute! Let me try to crack this guy, I've an idea I'd like to try."

"The floor is yours." approved the Emerald.

"So, Mr. Hedgehog, this alleged affair with Ms. Cat has been going on for..." asked Manic.

"2 years" Sonic answered.

Manic continued, "And your first name again is..."

"Sonic" answered Sonic.

Manic was almost finished, "And your boyfriends name is..."

"Tails" finished Sonic.

This was followed by a gasp of shock.

"Oh sorry," began Sonic, "You say boyfriend, I thought you said best friend! Tails is my best friend."

_**OBJECTION!**_

A now ticked off Tails began, "You bastard! You lying bastard! That's it, I now cover for you no more! Peoples, I have a big announcement! This man is GAY and EUROPEAN!"

After this, everyone disappeared except for Sonic, the Emerald and Vanilla.

All Sonic could say was, "What the heck was that about?"

"Just a little joke" answered Vanilla. "Either way, it'll teach you not to sneak in here overnight."

"Well, me, Princess!"

After that, Vanilla noticed something and decided to point it out. "You know that's the Chaos Emerald of Wisdom,And Robotnik has the Chaos Emerald of Power?"

"Yeah, so what's eating you?" Sonic responded.

"Well, they are meant to be the Triforce, so there has to be a Chaos Emerald of Courage."

"So, what about that?" asked Sonic.

"We need to get the Courage Emerald! And we're off now!"

"OH BOI!" shouted Sonic, before asking "How a kiss, for luck?"

"You've got to be kidding!" answered Vanilla as she grabbed Sonic and jumped out the window.

But Vanilla wasn't the only one to notice this. Right as this was happening, Robotnik had also seen this. But he had the advantage, he knew where it was. It was under the island of Koridai.

The announcer began his dramatic speech, "How will out heroes find out the location of the Emerald? Who will get it? And why are Scratch and Grounder Snoo PINGAS usual? Find out, after the break!"

**COMMERICAL BREAK!**

"Hi there, Billy Mays here with the amazing Iris! The Iris has all the beauty of the Dahlia, but without the murderous tendencies! That's right, 100% beauty, 0% psycho! The Iris costs $20, also, order now and get the Maya, absolutely free!"

**BACK TO THE SHOW!**

As our heroes journey around the mysterious land of Morule, they fight off many treacherous opponents in different ways, if they run into an Octorok, they eat it. Dondongoes are blown up by the bombs that Morshu is still ticked about.

Suddenly, they hear the voice of Mike Pollack... I mean Eggman... I mean Robotnik in the distance claiming, "I'm off to see the sights, the wonderful sights of Kordai. Am I in the right show? In fact, is that even from a show? Oh well, at least I'll get the Chaos Emerald of Courage from Koridai."

Following this, Sonic and Vanilla find Scratch & Grounder, who were snoo PINGAS usual. The two heroes beat up the dingbots and put on disguises that are more obvious than the ones in AOSTH, but as per usual, Robotnik is fooled by it.

Sonic then told the audience, "Due to the time running out on this timeslot thanks to the song, we'll skip to the part where I beat Robotnik."

The episode skipped to the battle for the Emerald.

"2 hits, one more and you're history, Robuttnik!" an excited Sonic said with as much enthusiasm as possible, perhaps more.

"How did you know that?" asked the mad wizard/scientest.

"I checked out the enclosed instruction book!" answered Sonic.

"Um, you might want to know something, Sonic." Vanilla told him.

"What?" asked Sonic.

Vanilla pointed.

"DAMN IT!" shouted Sonic when he seen what had happened.

"It did happen, Sonic." Vanilla told him.

"Why didn't you stop it?" asked Sonic.

"Because I didn't have a chance to grab my stuff!" Vanilla said, now annoyed.

"Well, we blew it there." Sonic said in disappointment.

"Don't worry." said Vanilla, "We can always try to get it."

"Yeah." responded Sonic, "But Robotnik still has the Chaos Emerald of Courage."

They returned to Castle Morule and went to bed... NO THEY DIDN'T YOU PREVS! THEY'RE IN SEPRATE ROOMS!

All Robotnik could do was laugh, he had the Chaos Emerald of Courage thanks to his teleportation.

**END OF EPISODE!**

Wow, what an episode, I don't own any characters in this, they belong to SEGA/DiC Entertainment. I do not own Gay Or European either, I am unsure who owns the rights to it. Also, a question mark in brackets means I am unsure if the lyrics are correct at that part, if you can correct me, I will amend the story to fix those lyrics.


End file.
